RANSVESTIA

include (I almost forgot) two dresses that she gave me that she can no longer wear. More in the future about that.

Bye for now. Give my love to Mary Neilson and especially

Love to you

Dear Virginia & Mary:

Just writing to you in the first place is a big step and as pointed out by so many in TVia, risky for one not wishing public exposure. I've known of TVia for six years on and off through those dirty book stores in L.A., but this is my first personal contact and I am definitely still shy.

Secondly, I feel hard pressed to place myself exactly within the frame- work of an FP as described in TVia. I don't feel as two personalities sharing the same body. There is no clear (or even predominant) division between "me" and "her." My ego, self, Id or whatever, is a totality that lives with contradicting feelings and loves (Editor's Note; Compare with Virgin Views in this issue.)

Since TVia seems a sounding board for comparison of case histories and approaches to life, let me tell you of mine. You're welcome to use any part of it, if you wish. I expect you to honor my privacy as you have done so admirably for others.

My childhood was similar to many FPs (I now know). My parents had a boy and raised him as such. I lived up to their desires and made them proud of my scholastic activities. Not athletic-I've never liked gym or sports. A communal shower room makes me uneasy and un- usually modest.

My first recollection of anything "different" was the wearing of my sister's knit suit. I can't remember my thoughts or feelings, but I did continue wearing dresses whenever I could. No one knew of my activities and a pattern of desire — repression — compulsion and guilt reaction set in. It dominated my childhood. I'm sad now that I couldn't work out something that would have eased the struggle. Childhood is too precious to waste on insoluble problems.

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